How to Build Healthy Habits When You Feel Stuck
Meg here again!
Spring continues. By now, the motivation for our New Year's resolutions may have dwindled; the weather is not very predictable and our vitamin D is low. We may be experiencing feelings of anxiety or depression, which in turn causes us to feel "stuck", unmotivated, and/or lethargic.
One of the very things that will make us feel better—action—feels unattainable.
Why Action Feels So Hard (But Matters So Much)
When we feel low on energy or overwhelmed, it’s common to wait until we feel “ready” to take action. But often, the opposite is true. Action is what helps shift mood, energy, and motivation, even when it feels like the hardest thing to access. However, by creating action habits in our life we often see, and feel, positive results.
This is also true for children: small changes can have a big impact. For example, we decide to start going to bed every night at the same time to ensure we get 8 hours of sleep. We achieve this by getting ready for bed before we're already exhausted and we make bedtime more inviting; for instance, buying new pajamas or finding a good book which can be read 30 minutes before bed. After a few days with more rest, we may begin to notice other things are slowly falling into place. We have the energy and motivation to make a healthier breakfast choice, we're in a better mood before school drop off, we aren't running late because we didn't need to snooze. Maybe we then decide that going for three 10-minute walks a day sounds feasible.
We determine ways to stack these changes onto tasks we're already doing. We observe that these little actions cause a chain reaction which equates to meaningful impact.
Start Small: One Habit at a Time
First step? Implement one new habit this week. Not a full routine overhaul. Just one. Consistency matters more than intensity.
A Small Reset for Parents
If you’ve ever thought, “I should be doing this better” as a parent, then you’re definitely not alone. We created the the Good Enough Parent Toolkit to help you reset, get clarity, and take small and effective steps forward. Check it out if you think you could use a bit of support.
A Simple Framework for Building Habits
In his best selling book, Atomic Habits, James Clear writes that there are four simple rules to create new habits and we think these are game changers:
Make it obvious
Be clear and consistent. If you want your family members to help with chores, have a designated time every day, perhaps right before getting ready for bed where you all spend 5 minutes picking up together.
Make it attractive
During this clean up, play music to make it more enjoyable.
Make it easy
Do the toys and books have a "home"? If not, is it possible to buy a basket for toys or another bookshelf?
Make it satisfying
Acknowledge how great the house looks! Offer praise to those who helped. Encourage them to look around and feel a sense of pride.
When things feel stuck, the answer is often not a big change but a small, consistent one. We encourage you to brainstorm a few small changes you can make and try one out this week. We’re all unique and what works for one individual or family may not work for another. And that’s okay. The goal is not perfectionism. Just experiment and note what worked.
If you need support, we are here for you.
Meg and the Well Brain Team
What We're Reading:
Atomic Habits by James Clear
James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits and break bad ones.
What We're Watching:
TED-Ed — How to get motivated even when you don’t feel like it
Sometimes, no matter how passionate you are about a goal or hobby, finding the motivation to actually do it can be difficult, learn how to actually do it.